i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
