we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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