Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
