Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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