Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
