i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
