I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
