scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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