i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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