I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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