marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
