What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
