i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
