Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
