Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize