with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
