She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
