How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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