You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
