The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
