Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
