everyone is single if you try hard enough
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
