ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
