so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
