Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
