sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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