yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
