I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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