So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
