Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
