How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
