Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
