Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize