dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
