Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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