drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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