just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
