I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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