u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
