Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
