He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
