haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
