he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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