You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
