id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
