the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
