My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
