i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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