the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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