i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
