i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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