I love black thongs
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
