so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
