Porn is love you can see.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
