i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
