its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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