I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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