please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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