you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
